Friday, March 09, 2007

Diagnosis - "not good"

Hmmmmmmm...I think if your throat is so sore that it bleeds when you cough, it probably isn't good is it?

Can't sleep, can't swallow without extreme pain, can't think, can't speak beyond a croak, can't move without setting off a coughing fit, can't cough without spitting up blood, can't concentrate, can barely breathe; do you think I should go to work?

Funny that, the doctor didn't think I should either.

On the plus side perhaps, he thought I'd had my tonsils removed (I haven't) as apparently I have very little 'tonsil material'.

Maybe I coughed them up?

For those of you who can remember back long enough (or understand the rudimentaries of hyperlinks...), nearly three years back I had a similarly nightmarish bad throat and as a result discovered some strange prescription substances.

Well I found the end of the 'green' bottle, which, having been kept out of direct sunlight, had failed to do anything exciting. Ignoring the expiry date (hey what's six months between friends?), I was desperate enough to give it a go. Whilst it helps, it's not really reaching the core of the problem.

However, they now do 'kryptonite juice' in a throat spray and it does indeed seem to reach parts the gargle/rinse doesn't reach. Combined with the finest analgesics the pharmacy has to offer, the extremes of the pain are almost bearable.

You know what really helps though? Lovely friends who've texted from near and far (well various parts of Manchester and Wolverhampton) asking if there's anything they can do and friends from even further away, sending their love.

A text this evening from the Chorlton contingent reads "meals on wheels service leaving in 15 minutes". Sure enough a little later a wonderful home-cooked moussaka and fresh salad is delivered.

As I sit down to eat it a little later, I'm interrupted by the most incredible noise from the kitchen. Yes, a double cupboard (full of glasses, mugs and various food stuffs) has come crashing off the wall, wrecking half the stuff on the table below in the process.

Trust me, when you feel like shite warmed up, the last thing you need is a kitchen covered in broken glass and ceramic, balsamic vinegar, malt vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, honey and syrup. And that's before you notice the 2 litre bottle of caffeine-free diet coke that has been pierced and is spraying a fine spray of brown-coloured water several feet across the room.

Much clearing, mopping (floor and tears) and sorting later, the room is almost straight, the surviving items packed in a crate and the cupboard, which is still hanging on one bracket, propped from below.

Unfortunately the cupboard is too heavy to enable removal without help (well maybe if I was feeling competent and capable, but right now...). Time to take up one of those "is there anything we can do?" offers I think...


sally said...

oh hon..have a very large couldn't make it up could you!!! xxx

sally said...

I am feeling guilty enough about visiting and you entertaining me when you felt so ill..I feel I am wondering if my gift of the shopping mug was a mug too far and did it cause the cupboard to fall off the wall?? I do guilt so well I could almost be catholic...

Rach said...

oh wow, that's horrible (which is saddly the best I could find, although it doesn't seem to come anywher close to what's happening with you)

Glad there are the practical folks close by & love, thoughts, hugs from here.

Rach xx

Kathryn said...

Oh my LOVE!
That sort of thing is positively Fleming in its appallingness.
Glad you have lovely people who are a)decently local and b)awake...

Dave said...

Could only happen to you in your hour of need. You sure you haven't got a very clumsy poltergeist? Glad to see you have an army on standby for such eventualities.

1 i z said...

Thanks for kind words all.

And Sally don't feel guilty for coming, feel guilty for leaving - that's when I got really bad. It was also when all the mugs got washed and put back in said cupboard.

It's very clear to me - you didn't stay long enough ;-)

Actually just very glad you didn't catch this horrid virus.