Thursday, June 17, 2004

Strange Substances

A trip to the doctors confirms I do indeed have a throat infection that has resulted in my throat ulcerating. Who knew that was even possible?

As a result, strange new substances have entered my life.

The first is white powder, which when mixed with water becomes the brightest orange foul smelling noxious liquid that then has to be kept in the fridge.

This, if the pharmacy label is to be believed (and frankly I’m sceptical), is an antibiotic that may, assuming it’s not viral in nature, help my throat infection.

I can’t tell you how grim it tastes. I also can’t tell you how unpleasant it is to experience the gag reflex when you have ulcers lining your throat.

Which moves us on to the second substance. This is the brightest green (think Crème de Menthe, think kryptonite, think something clearly ungodly). This I have to gargle with every hour or two, in order to try and ease the pain.

The accompanying leaflet urges that one should spit not swallow (do your own jokes on that one). Trust me you wouldn’t be tempted to do otherwise (not even any dubious claims of protein content….).

I have to admit however, it does seem to work and is reaching the parts of my ulcerated throat that painkillers alone seem unable to reach.

I’m still slightly worried about the fact that the leaflet says “do not leave bottle in direct sunlight without carton”. One can only speculate as to what happens if you do, but based on the smell and colour, I’m thinking it’s something akin to feeding mogwai’s after midnight.

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