The Internet Makes Work for Idle Hands...

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

You know what it's like; bit of time on your hands, no new emails and you've read all the blogs you really want to (and can't face the ones you subscribe to, but rarely read) and so you start to wander around those time-wasting websites of choice.

Now don't get me wrong, I too am hugely disappointed in the Labour government, but at the same time their endeavours in the field of internet based distraction services shouldn't go unacknowledged.

So if you don't already have it bookmarked, can I recommend to you the wonder that is 10 Downing Street's E-Petition site.

Of course you can spend your time reflecting on what the 1.7 million plus signatures to the road-pricing petition say about democracy in the modern age, you could take a moment to whisper kyrie eleison at the number of racist submissions, or you could (and if you're me, you will), while away some happy minutes finding petitions such as these:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to:

• replace the national anthem with 'Gold' by Spandau Ballet
• endorse a scheme that would see the child benefit scheme extended to cats

When you've tired of that, then you can waste a good hour or so trawling the internet for amusing "mic in" tracks.

If you haven't come across these before, then let me explain. Ordinary people play around with their computers and record themselves using the "mic in" line and some software. What the unsuspecting ones don't twig is that a) if you don't over-ride the settings, most software will save the resulting files with default and rather incriminating filenames like "micin1.mp3" and b) again unless you change the settings it will store these files with the rest of your mp3s which suddenly become available to the world at large if you use peer-to-peer music file sharing programs.

Now curiousity is said to have killed the cat (whether the extension of child benefit would mean you'd get help with the funeral expenses is unclear), but despite such cautions, it remains a constant part of human nature. So of course when people start seeing "mic in" files on your computer, they're going to have a bit of a nosey. And then, being the wonderful generous creatures that they are, they'll share any treasures they find with the rest of the world via the internet.

Google is your friend if you want to see what I mean, but you could do worse than start here. I can particularly recommend the renditions of Bohemian Rhapsody (increasingly disturbing as it goes on and he's within spitting distant of the right notes...occasionally) and my personal favourite Teen Spirit (listen to the end for the classic vocal interpretation of guitar chords).

Of course some people have taken it one step further and used the mic in tracks as samples, creating some of the most disturbing tunes you've probably come across in a good while. Try the library on Stark Effect's website and check out Bunnyrabbits, Satan, Cheese and Milk.

Maybe I should go and do something more productive?