Vote!

Despite my complete disdain for virtually all politicians and my cynical view of how much of a democracy we really enjoy, I always get a buzz from voting.

Maybe it’s because I feel like an adult doing it, maybe it’s because I’m mindful of all those that don’t have this right and those who went before, fighting for people like me to get the franchise.

Whatever it is, I did my duty this morning and marked my X.

Those of you who know how good I am with mornings may rightly worry as to whether I was with it enough to put my X in the intended box.

I would normally wait until evening (and full consciousness) before committing this important act, but tonight I’ve been invited round to the lovely Radcliffe’s for tea so I just had to do the dawn thing and hope for the best.

My perfect result? Labour to regain power, but with a reduced mandate due to increased support for Lib Dem and Green etc thus encouraging them in positive directions over the next term. Tories to be trounced and sent home to rethink their politics of fear. UKIP and Veritarse (sic) to lose all their deposits and Kills Raw Milk to fuck off to a tanning booth for ever more. BNP to not get a single vote and all member to contract slow painful chronic illnesses through which they are forced to either suffer without relief or accept the assistance of non-white medical and care professionals.

Chances of me waking up tomorrow morning to all that – slim to zero…

Chances of me waking up to news of threatened appeals and lawsuits regarding postal voting irregularities - worryingly high (do we have UN observers?).