More Tap than Tap?

Things I learnt from watching Metallica: Some Kind of Monster:

1. It is possible to sell 90 million records by making fairly uninspiring noise


2. If you’re in a successful band that has sold 90 million records it’s very hard to walk away from the prospect of selling more


3. Especially if you are clearly motivated by money rather than ‘art’


4. If however you and your bandmates can’t now bear to be in the same room as each other, without a $40,000 a month therapist being present, then it’s probably time to walk away


5. If you don’t, then the chances are that any music made under these circumstances will lack in creativity, inspiration and let’s face it integrity


6. It also wouldn’t seem to be great timing to commission a fly on the wall documentary


7. …or let the film crew have access to the group therapy sessions


8. Watching rock stars adopt ‘therapy-speak’ is however most hilarious


9. All rock stars should be made to watch Spinal Tap on an annual basis and have a workable definition of irony stuck on their fridges


10. Never trust a therapist who in a desperate bid to prevent you dispensing with his services, tells you that this is a sign of your trust issues that you still need to work on...with him


11. Lars Ulrich’s 75 year old dad is possibly the coolest person on the planet


12. I want to have a beard like his