Apparently I'm...

Joe Normal

47 % Nerd, 8% Geek, 17% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.


You scored less than half in all three, earning you the title of: Joe Normal.

This is not to say that you don't have some Nerd, Geek or Dork inside of you--we all do, and you can see the percentages you have right above. This is just to say that none of those qualities stand out so much as to define you. Sure, you enjoy an episode of Star Trek now and again, and yeah, you kinda enjoyed a few classes back in the day. And, once in a while, you stumble while walking down the street even though there was nothing there to cause you to trip. But, for the most part, you look and act fairly typically, and aren't much of an outcast.

I'd say there's a fair chance someone asked you to take this test. In any event, fairly normal. Congratulations!

TAKE THE NERD GEEK OR DORK TEST

Thanks to Fragile Tender for the link.

Things to make you go “eeeuuuwwwgghh!”

So today was a fundraising day for a charity, which involved us all wearing red. I plumped for a red top and my lovely new red shoes (well I say lovely, they look nice, but you spend half you life fishing them back up your heel).

There’s something lovely about a pair of red pumps.

Well there is until one of your colleagues, a late fifties, slightly lecherous, but ultimately harmless bloke, screws up his face into a leer and says “phwoar! I’ve got a real thing about women in red pumps”.

So that’ll be one pair of shoes, I’ll not be wearing to work again in a hurry.

This is probably second only to the time I sat down next to a male colleague for a conference, who promptly sniffed the air knowingly and leant over and whispered “mmmm Jean Paul Gaultier perfume…instant boner”. That was a long day.

I never wore that perfume to work again either.

The soundtrack to my life right now

I just don't get people who aren't moved by music. My father finds music 'distracting' (though isn't that kind of the point at times?) and so, outside of my room, I grew up in largely silent household; whereas now on a typical day I wake to the alarm on my DAB radio, listen to the radio on the morning commute, turn on the iPod over lunch, catch the drivetime shows home, turn on the CD while I cook and finally fall asleep to something beautiful.

Music follows me round the house, down the motorway, through my life.

I devour music, absorb it, bathe in, live in it.

The tunes that soundtrack my life will vary from one month to the next, favourites will resurface again and again, shorter term obsessions will come and go.

So more for me than any one out there (have you not worked that out already about this blog?), for the record, this is the music that accompanies my life at this moment in time (in no particular order):

• Keith - Red Thread
• Long Blondes - Someone to Drive You Home Once and Never Again should be required listening for every teenage girl
• Hot Chip - The Warning
• Antony and the Johnsons - I am a Bird Now Of course thanks to Laura I now see him as a Moomintroll, but the beauty survives even that.
• Little Man Tate - About What You Know
• The View - Hats Off to the Buskers Damn you pesky Dundonians and your lurky catchy melodies
• Mercury Rev - The Secret Migration I never thought I'd like this album as much as Deserter's Songs, but you know what, it keeps creeping up on it
• Editors - The Back Room if you're going to be overly influenced by a band that went before, I guess you can do worse than making that Joy Division
• Badly Drawn Boy - The Hour of Bewilderbeast back where it all started, before the beard
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
• Bloc Party - A Weekend in the City not the happiest band then eh?
• Duke Special - Songs From the Deep Forest
• Liam Frost - Show me How the Spectres Dance lovely man, lovely guitar
• Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future
• Aimee Mann - Live at St Ann's Warehouse Save Me and Wise Up on Magnolia, just have to be one of the finest bits of film soundtracking ever.
• Gossip - Standing in the Way of Control
• Hours - Narcissus Road
• Captain - This is Hazelville
• The Arcade Fire - Neon Bible did I mention I saw them live the other week ;-)
• The Shins - Wincing the Night Away
• The Smiths - The Queen is Dead I quite possibly can't be your friend if you don't think that There is a Light That Never Goes Out is one of the most searingly beautiful songs ever written. Close your eyes, put it on repeat, let it wash over you and bear you away...sigh...
• Bromhead's Jacket - Dits from the Commuter Belt

Hmmm...looking at that list I clearly have a thing for guitar bands (like I didn't already know that), but there also seems to be a developing theme of falsetto male voices. Come to think of it I did shove on an old Communards album the other week as well...

Luckily for my insatiable ears new music keeps coming and coming. Is there a point when it becomes indecent to still be following the new? At what age is it expected that you stop listening to anything new and settle down with the bands of 'your generation'?

I have a friend who has a theory on fashion, that in some way your taste in clothes get frozen to the time when you first really grew up. Ok she's blunter than that, she links it to what you were wearing when you lost your cherry (well ok, just before the moment you lost your cherry in most cases).

I think she may have something in the concept that our tastes do tend to freeze a little around the golden years of our late teens, but perhaps she takes it too far.

After all, according to her theory, old-age virgins should be the most en Vogue of their generation.

Anyway, I digress, the point is my musical tastes seem to keep expanding (maybe I have yet to lose my musical cherry? damn it enough of that digression already). So in the spirit of all things blog like and sharing, I've added links above to youtube and myspace etc where you can hear snippets of the albums I've listed, maybe other bloggers would like to similarly share their current musical listening?

What's the current soundtrack to your life?

Ah go on now; we won't judge.

Much.

Life on Mars

Set your video recorders folks, starting this week is the final series of Life on Mars and if this preview of the Camberwick Green inspired episode is anything to go by, it should be good. So cool that the puppets capture the essence of the actors.

9pm Tuesday. Nice.

Tagine Time

Many, many moons ago, in response to a blog post where I talked about cooking a Moroccan meal, I promised Rob that I'd cook him and the lovely M a tagine sometime.

Well at long last the night has come (I even hoovered!) and we have a lovely evening of far too much food, some lovely wine (incl a fine bottle of Chateau du Rob) and talk. Talk that goes on until the wee small hours - a lovely evening.

Let's not leave it so long next time huh?

No Snow

Manchester city centre itself rarely gets much snow, but this week, whilst much of the country has been covered in white, we've had none whatsoever.

Warr1ngton has had a bit and as I leave the office at 7pm, large flakes are starting to fall. However, by the time I finish in Sainsburys, so has the snow. A couple of hours later as I leave the gym, all evidence of any snow having fallen has disappeared entirely and the drive home is clear.

So dear reader I leave you instead with views friends have sent me of snow in other cities. Join with me in saying "awwww!":

Buddies

When I told Stuart and Karen that if they did get a TomTom, then we could sign up to be buddies and then see where each other was on the map; Stuart went "ooooh",, Karen gave us 'the look'. The look that says "you two and your gadgets, why on earth would you want to do that?".

Of course there's no good answer to that one. I guess if we were both travelling to something we'd be able to see each other's progress, but that's a bit weak isn't it? What information does the TomTom buddy feature give that a simple phone call wouldn't? But that's not the point - it's just cool that we could...if we ever wanted to.

When I told Sally that we could be TomTom buddies, she seemed similarly unimpressed and added "typical though, I've had mine for a year and didn't know it could do this, you've had yours for 48hours...".

When I told Steve that we could be TomTom buddies, he said "cool! Let's set it up now!".

When he told his good lady wife, he apparently also received 'the look'.

Sadly however, technology let me down and I couldn't get my TomTom to establish the required GPRS data link through my phone.

I looked at the FAQs on the website and nearly gave up when there was no relevant info. Half-heartedly, barely hopeful of receiving a timely, helpful response, I filled in the standard tech support email request form.

By lunchtime today, a mere 14 hours later, a reply drops into my inbox, with detailed info about what the likely problem is and the specific info I need to get from my mobile phone provider.

Well that's better than I expected, but I'm now in the hands of Orange. Yes, that sound you hear, is that of my crest falling.

After a mere 10 minutes in their queuing system (question - given this happens every single time I try to get through, is it really accurate for them to keep claiming that they are "currently experiencing an unprecedented number of calls"?) I get passed from one assistant with a poor grasp of English to another, until finally my call lands with the rather wonderful Rob.

Rob works through all the issues with me, resets my GPRS account and gives me the data I need in case that hasn't fixed it and I need to set it up manually.

Annoyingly the TomTom system takes ages to try new settings, before you can override things and I feel bad about keeping him waiting. I suggest I have a go and ring back if it doesn't work. He counters that I'll only end up in the queue again and likely end up with someone who doesn't understand what I'm trying to do.

Bless him, it all works and my TomTom can now do all it should via my mobile.

No one is more surprised than me that I experienced not one, but two examples of fine customer services in the course of one day. The fact that one of the companies involved was my previous nemesis Orange, is all the more shocking.

I may need to sit down for a while.

Oh look Steve's at his home...shall I wave?

Day Two

After the final day of training we manage to get away promptly, seeking to stay ahead of the threatened snow.

The traffic receiver for the TomTom earns its keep and we avoid the worst of the traffic incidents.

By the time we get back to the office, the temperature is well below zero and I have to scrape ice off both the outside and the inside of my poor car, before heading home.

Glad to get back to Manchester, I turn up the heating and crawl under the duvet.

Day One

After breakfast, we head off for the office where we'll be running the course. It's a cross country route, but we figure that we'll learn our lesson from yesterday and trust Mr Cleese.

That is until he takes us up an unmade road. Did I say road? I think track would be more fitting.

The local road signs aren't much more helpful, but we've left plenty of time and so we're still there in good time and set up ready for when the delegates arrive.

It's an intensive course and tricky stuff for the guys to pick up, but by the end of day one they seem to have got one of the most complex aspect and settle down to the final exercise unaided.

Back at our accommodation, we have a short time before dinner. I retire to my room and am entertained by text messages from Sally. She has a go at guessing the nature of the questions we set on the course. I believe her finest attempt involved the phrase "using the standard national turd transfer rate".

It's almost as if she was a fly on the training room wall.

After dinner in the beautifully converted main building, we take a walk into the village and find a lovely little pub, all exposed beams, real ale and open fires.

The perfect unwind after an intense day.

Heading South

A busy work day means my colleague and I don't manage to leave to travel south until nearly 7pm. Deciding we'll need to stop for a bite en route and keen to avoid service station foder, we allow my sat nav (now with the lovely speaking tones of John Cleese), to direct us to one of it's listed pubs, just off the motorway.

A quick meal later we set off again, but John is insisting we turn right, despite the fact we clearly came in from the left.

Trusting ourselves over an untried gadget and preferring to stick mainly on motorway than cross country, we turn left (Mr Cleese is most upset at this) and head back a mile or so to the motorway junction.

That'll be the motorway junction that just has a southbound exit, not a southbound entry...

Ah we of little faith.

As we near our final destination in rural Buckinghamshire, the fog descends until it's hard to see more than 20m ahead on the small lanes I'm driving down. Whilst resisting the temptation to drive using the sat nav map as some form of video game guidance, having it in my peripheral vision as I edge gently ahead, at least gives forewarning of junctions and sharp bends.



Just before midnight we pull into the driveway of the conference centre that will be serving as our hotel for the next couple of nights. It's hard not to be impressed by the building that appears out of the fog.



Ok the sleeping accommodation is slightly less splendid, a study bedroom is a study bedroom, is a study bedroom, but clean and comfy and all we need. It even has free broadband on tap so I can make the most of the tip from a friend (who shall remain anonymous) of where I can get a leaked copy of a certain band's forthcoming album (and yes I will buy the CD when released anyway). After a long day in the office and then having done all the driving, I fall into bed, accompanied by beautiful tunes, trying not to think about how few hours there are before my alarm will sound to get me up and out in time to set up for the training course we're here to run.

Anger Management

Thrown off an anger management course for being too angry?

It’s just going to piss her off more you know…

Buddies

After a hectic week, I’m looking forward to a quiet day off, ahead of what looks like it will be another tiring week.

I have but one chore to complete, given I’ll not be able to make Book group on Thursday, I’ve offered to lend my copy of The Ghost Road to Nonreader (plus the spare copy I have of Nineteen Eighty-Four).

She rings and sounds terribly bunged up with a cold and as if she’s at death’s door. She mentions she needs to get to Borders to buy her brother a book token (yes you read right she was planning to go to a bookstore) and needs to work that around when I’m coming as her letter box is probably too small for me to get the book through.

I comment that she sounds like she should be in bed and given I’m coming out anyway, why don’t I go to Borders for her en route. A cunning plan is hatched.



As I’m getting ready to leave, Stuart rings. We chat about the huge shiny thing he and Karen are about to buy (watch his blog for details in due course) and the small shiny thing I bought yesterday. Stuart has been considering a sat nav as well, and it was his preference for the TomTom that swayed me in part. The news that if he and K do get one in due course, we’d be able to sign up as ‘buddies’ and then be able to see where the other one is, delights his childish side as much as it does mine*.

He did mention he needed to get to Morrisons (on foot, K has the car), to get food for their tea, but somehow the time got away from us (my fault K – blame me!). As he dashes off at ten to four, I joke that I’ll wait for his begging call if he’s too late.

Ten minutes later the phone rings.

So I end up rushing about to get out, first to Tescos for chicken for their curry (and some flowers for poorly sick Nonreader, even illogical people need cheering up when they’re ill I reckon), then to Borders for the book token and then to Currys for an adaptor I needed (I get to the doors at four fifty and the cheeky buggers are locking up), they’re out of stock anyway, but PC World next door come up good.

Then on to Nonreader’s to drop things off and finally on to the Dog Collars and Rabbit Corpses household, where the absence of chicken breasts is not going down well. In return for said items I’m invited to tea (lovely bonus) and we sit and chat, putting the world to rights and pouring over the brochure of their new shiny thing.

Home in time to pack my bags and fall into bed with eyelids sagging again.

*N.B. I ask mention this feature to Sally (another TomTom owner) on MSN later. It’s news to her and she remarks that it’s rather typical that she’s had hers for a year and never looked at the website for extra features, whereas in my first 24 hours of ownership…

Finding Direction

I gave up trying to read the papers for today’s Ops Manager review meeting last night, sleep kept interrupting me. Giving it up as a bad idea, I vowed instead to get up early this morning, get to our meeting venue ahead of schedule and read the papers there.

Of course, I did just that (ha! Ye of little faith!) and was sat surrounded by papers at the airport hotel when MS arrived.

DC rings from Stockport train station, running a little late (so no change in some cases then), SW is running about 20 minutes late and follows him in, but MF and BB are still on the runway at Gatwick. Whilst it’s a bright and clear day in Manchester itself, a little pocket of fog is clinging to the airport and delaying arrivals by up to 2 hrs.

We start covering what we can and people catch up and join in as they arrive.

It’s an intensive day, so much to cover, every last minute is utilised. We get loads done and a good 90% of what was needed, which isn’t bad.

Exhausted I head home, but need to go via some shops to get provisions for my empty fridge.

The fog has descended again and it’s thick as a blanket out by Heald Green. I’ve driven that back route from the airport any number of times, but the fog is so bad I’m seriously disorientated and having to strain to see turnings.

I’ve been seriously thinking about getting a sat nav for the car and have been looking on-line a little at the post-Christmas deals. Part of me says it’s an un-necessary extravagance, I’m pretty good with maps (I’d be a hopeless Eng1neer if I wasn’t) and rarely feel the desire for the added aid that a sat nav brings, but a couple of trips recently in fog or pitch black unlit roads have made me reconsider.

It feels like a sign that as I pop into M&S to return a few bits, there in front of me, with a two year guarantee (competing with John Lewis anyone?), is the TomTom 510 that I’ve been considering and there in my wallet are the unspent Christmas bonus vouchers I got from the company.

I take it as a sign and gadget girl strikes again.



Oh it sparkles, oh it shines, oh it delights.

Southport and Crosby

Up at a reasonable hour we pop round to L’s and admire her loft conversion and wonderful homemade scotch pancakes, fresh off the griddle.

Next we’re off to Southport to make the most of what is a most glorious winter’s day, fresh and sunny.



For the first time I visit the café and amusements building at the end of the pier. The architecture is wonderful – a wall of glass leaning out over the, well not sea exactly, this is Southport after all, the sea is some miles away most of the day, but the expanse of wet sand. Sadly the café does not meet the standard of it’s venue and we just have a drink, deciding lunch can wait for a better outlet.

We spend a happy half hour with our handfuls of ‘old pennies’ playing the gorgeous old slot machines and getting our fortunes told by Madame Zasha (complete with drawing pin for bindi), before heading back down the pier and into the town.

We treat ourselves to some fish and chips, well it seems only right, before hitting the shops.



We stick to the nice bits, the gorgeous old arcades and second hand bookstores. As we walk I look up at the beautiful glass and iron roof and wonder why modern shopping malls can spend millions and never get close to this level of style.

Having finished each other’s sentences at various points through the morning, things come to a climax in one shoe shop sale as we browse back to back, concentrating on our respective size racks. At the exact same moment we turn to each other and say “what do you think of these?” and look down and see we’re holding identical shoes.

They look better on S than on me, but sadly in her size there is a colour variation between the left and the right, that is too much to ignore; so we leave empty handed.

Walking back to the front, we decide to make the most of the last of the daylight and head on to one of my favourite places in the world - Crosby beach and Anthony Gormley’s Another Place.

Ice creams in hand, we head to the sands and go for a glorious walk enjoying the changing colours as the bright daylight starts to fade and the sun sets below the horizon.



There are also photos of S (which I'm too much of a friend to post publically), with her leg flung over shoulder of one statue as she hangs on for dear life in an attempt to get onto its shoulders. I text one particularly amusing shot to P with the caption “your wife is molesting public art” and receive the response “I’m rarely lost for words…”.

After previous attempts to find decent food nearby, we decide not to bother and figure that the café in M&S at Gemini just off the M62 would be a call to sit out the worst of the Manchester bound traffic, whilst also providing a last shopping opportunity. Not the most glamorous of options, but we only want a light bite and it’s convenient.

We make it back to Manchester in time for me to drop S off at the station with ten minutes to spare before her train back to Wolverhampton.

A perfect day, to round off a pretty damn wonderful week.

Mmmmm...Punjab!

S is came up to Manchester today and on the way back from work, I call round at T’s and pick the pair of them up for a curry in Rusholme (Punjab –back on form I’m happy to say).

T’s been having a tough time and as we drop her home, it plays on both S and my minds.